Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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