would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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