I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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