you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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