The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize