we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
