As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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