dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
