she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
