Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
