I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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