Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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