I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize