why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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