i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
