I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
