So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
