First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
