last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
