If that was your dad, he is hot
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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