Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
