i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
