If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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