I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize