You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
