I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
