Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
