I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
