i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
