I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize
