who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The power of my boobs compel you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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