Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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