If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
