Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
