Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize