i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
