This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize