She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
