Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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