time to smoke my breakfast
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
