So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Dicks are not precious.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
