Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
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