I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
