i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
