No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
