If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
