it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Mom said you looked used
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
