Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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