I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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