Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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