That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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