How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
