Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(479): View more from Arkansas

How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again

Fav 13 3968 1266
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(208): View more from Idaho

aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.

Fav 18 7709 1658
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(734): View more from Michigan

He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.

Fav 11 4729 1968
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(256): View more from Alabama

this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

Fav 17 1396 6423
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(289): View more from Ontario

If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.

Fav 2 1627 866
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(773): View more from Illinois

Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.

Fav 3 1585 875
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(510): View more from California

I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.

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