My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
soo... how was my night?
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