we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
