So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
