So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
