I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
