In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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