I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
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