just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
