my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
