There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Girls should come with a carfax report
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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