Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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