I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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