don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My life is pants optional.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
