trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
