he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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