i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
