i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
