Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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