Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
