If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
